Captain Cum: October 2004

Friday, October 29, 2004

If you love bouncing boobs, videogames, boobies, violence and breasts, then Dead Or Alive Ultimate is a must have. Kasumi and her hot girlfriends are back in the latest installment to the DOA series. It features detailed and crisp graphics, the biggest bouncing boobs The Captain has ever seen, online play to kick butt worldwide and exciting new environments. The fighting system is the best I've came across since Street Fighter II, plus the bouncing boobs. Now there's finally a good reason to go out and buy a Xbox, at least for me. Did I mention the huge bouncing boobs?
Boobies: Dead Or Alive Ultimate Official Website

Thursday, October 28, 2004

While Ashlee Simpson, Jessica's ugly lip-synching sister, is being destroyed everywhere after her SNL "performance", let's not forget that beauties like Christina Milian continue to appear in magazines like FHM. That's what happened this month so after you've had a good laugh with Ashlee "Homer" Simpson, I suggest you continue to sail the pussea like a real pirate.
Live for real: Christina1 - Christina2 - Christina3 - Christina4 - Christina5 - Christina6 - Christina 7
Real performer: Christina's Booty

Friday, October 22, 2004

Are Lindsay Lohan's boobies filled with silicone juice? Lindsay is really tired of this kind of questions as she tells us in her new single Rumors:

I'm tired of rumors startin'
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lyin'
Sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

Leave the girl alone. Mighty pirates, here is:
The Truth about Lindsay Lohan's Boobs
Bonus: Rumors video

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Jenny McCarthy, the former Playboy centerfold and all-around bad girl just released a book about her pregnancy. Her tales are, for the most part, quite funny. For example, in the beginning of her pregnancy, she tells she was constipated, so she visited a specialist. In the waiting room, the assistant called her name, and "everyone... looked up in surprise, and I knew what they were thinking: Jenny McCarthy has butt hole problems? I was so embarrassed, until I realized that they had no right to be smirking: Those assholes were also there because of their own assholes. I felt better already." Well, today she seems to be healthy and her pregnancy didn't affect her sexiness.
That '70s Show: Jenny1 - Jenny2 - Jenny3 - Jenny4 - Jenny5 - Jenny6 - Jenny7 - Jenny8 - Jenny9 - Jenny10 - Jenny11 - Jenny12

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Esquire magazine has declared Angelina Jolie the Sexiest Woman Alive. The pillow-lipped Oscar winner, last seen as the white-hot, eye-patched pilot in Sky Captain and last heard as a disturbingly enticing fish in Shark Tale, beat out runner-up Halle Berry and third-place finisher Britney Spears (wtf?) for the honor. In the accompanying interview, Angelina, 29, acknowledges her reputation as "kind of wild or bad or weird or crazy", but says that just scratches the surface. "The tattoos, the blood, cutting myself -- it's all very much who I am," she confides. Angelina is definitely the sexiest pirate alive.
Sexy: Angelina1 - Angelina2 - Angelina3 - Angelina4 - Angelina5 - Angelina6

Monday, October 18, 2004

You may never have heard of her before but before being a spokesmodel for a laser eye surgery company, Carrie Tucker had her fifteen minutes of fame being Miss New York 2000 and competing for the Miss America Pageant the same year. Now that her sex tape has surfaced, she will get another fifteen minutes of exposure but this time, her hottiness will get her The Captain's Booty Award of The Month for being such a ho. And that's better than a stupid Pageant contest prize.
Watch it now: Sample & full video download

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Anna Kournikova may not be at the top of the WTA tour anymore, but her ass is still at the top of the Booty League. What about some paparazzi pics of the Russian bombshell to prove it? I'm sure every pirate out there will appreciate the following pics.
Beachbabe: Anna1 - Anna2 - Anna3 - Anna4

Friday, October 15, 2004

Mischa Barton is still young and yet she has already developed an extensive filmography and theatrical resume that will surely make her one of the most sought after young actress of her generation. You've seen her in blockbusters like The Sixth Sense or Notting Hill, and now you get to see her, sexier than ever, on this site. Isn't a mighty pirate's life beautiful?
For mighty pirates: Mischa1 - Mischa2 - Mischa3 - Mischa4 - Mischa5 - Mischa6 - Mischa7

The DVD of the week is Just Over Eighteen #5, from Red Light District Studios. This time around we've got two slices of Persian Pussy (Diana & Melody) from the class of '02. Also on the menu are two blondes, a Latina and a redhead. All the usual sex treats too... Anal, DP, two dicks for one girl, lots of facials and more. The Captain can't get enough of this flick.

The Captain was not utterly surpised when he read that Paris Hilton has starred in a third amateur sex movie. She has been captured on three new 45-minute tapes which feature the most explicit footage yet, "including Hilton masturbating, enjoying a steamy romp with a rocker's daughter and pleasuring two men at the same time", according to Britain's News Of The World newspaper. But when I learned that Paris Hilton is in negotiations with a major American porn studio to make a legitimate porn flick, I first tought it was a joke. It looks like she's serious though. I'll keep you updated about this interesting case.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Hardee's launched a TV commercial featuring Cameron Richardson, a hot model who appeared in Maxim magazine, riding a mechanical bull while having oral sex with the chain's new burger. As they say: "We could've shown you some cowboy, sitting around a campfire, eating a Western Bacon Thickburger... but who'd wanna see that?" The end of the ad says - Eat right, exercise more. Probably to lose the fat you gained by eating one of those giant burgers.
Yummy: Watch the vid

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

A ball boy holds his balls while watching tennis star Anna Kournikova at the World Team Tennis Smash Hits event in Irvine, California. This young pirate will certainly become a great Captain when he grows up. More pics of the event are available here.
Ball boy: I'd hit it!

Monday, October 11, 2004

Angela Taylor and Lisa Boyle are the founders of nomorebushgirls, a website where you can stare at eight nude models that shaved off their bush as a symbol of getting rid of George W. Bush on November 2nd. But that's not all, they've also set up a page where they explain why the war in Iraq was a bad idea and "how Bush has been a major culprit in the rape of Mother Earth." I wonder how much of the income of the merchandises goes to good causes, but getting naked is still the most heroic thing you can do for your country .

A chat transcript The Captain has found on bash.org:

mrlogic: you know, for a moment I misread this headline: "Bush and Kerry Hit Road, Trade Blows on Jobs"
lordandrei: And yet, they still oppose Gay Marriage
mrlogic: imagine

* The picture of Adriana Lima below has nothing to do with this post. It's only there for entertainment purpose. And by the way, Bush and Kerry are way too ugly to appear on this website.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

The Captain has read that the Pop rebel Christina Aguilera's naughty nurse advert for Skechers trainers has been shelved after complaints from America's nursing body. Center For Nursing Advocacy Executive Director Sandy Summers said, "This ad simultaneously exploits the "naughty nurse" and the battleaxe/Nurse Ratched stereotypes, setting the nurse up both as an available sex object and a mock-malevolent authority figure, rather than a competent professional." Sandy, you're suh a dirrty bitch.
Banned: Christina as a naughty nurse
What's next: Christina as a naughty schoolgirl - Christina as a nasty cop

Gena Lee Nolin finally went from Baywatch to Bare Watch in a home sex video. The New York Post says the tape, featuring Gena and her ex-husband, is being shopped around to porn sites for $1 million. Screencaps have been spreading on the net for some months now, but The Captain found two video samples that left him hungry for more. Like Askmen said: "Lifeguards are like mommies who come and save us when we're in trouble, except this lifeguard is really hot and it's okay to have sex with her." Damn right!
Videos: Sample1 - Sample2

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

When your new bests friends are Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid, being a flat-chested attention whore can be quite embarrassing. That's why Paris Hilton, who was telling her friends one year ago that she'd never get breast implants, finally decided that it was time to get a little boob job. The following pics may be the last ones of the old Paris and it's only a matter of time before she flaunts her new wares all over town.
See-through: Paris1 - Paris2 - Paris3 - Paris4 - Paris5

Monday, October 04, 2004

When a pirate feels alone in the pussea, like he was sinking in the deepest and most troubled waters of the female Ocean, there will always be two life buoys that will save the day. Mighty pirates, Pamela Anderson released her 2005 calendar and like every year, she remains one of the hottest beach babes alive on this planet. And until The Captain begins his galactic conquest and manages to lick three-breasted babes from Venus or to have sex with giant one-eyed pussies from Mars, Pamela Anderson will still be the number one in a pirate's black heart.
Watch this: Pamela1 - Pamela2 - Pamela3