Captain Cum

What the hell happened? I knew that former playmate Anna Nicole Smith lost a ton of weight in a very short time but it seems a lot of it has migrated to her breasts. She recently appeared in the Tonight Show and she looked like the hottie I used to love. Just have a look at these boobylicious weapons of mass erection. I wish I could sleep on these.

I'm not the only one who falls in love with pornstars. You may have seen Max, a student at Connecticut's Weston High School who won a prom date with pornstar Tyler Faith on Howard Stern's show last Friday. His dream was to take a porn star to the dance and it almost came true. Almost because Weston High Principal Mary Kolek said a date with a pornstar violates the school's prom guidelines and Max was not allowed to attend the party with Tyler. Mary Kolek said Max would be allowed to attend with a more appropriate date. The question is what is an appropriate date? A fat girl with small boobs maybe. School sucks!

1 In The Pink 1 In The Stink. Is that modern poetry? No, it's a prOn movie featuring 5 nubile sluts who go the double pumping double penetration route in every scene. The cover girl Jayna Osso is incredibly hot as are the other ladies. The Captain fell in love with that booty. Damn, I always fall in love with pornstars.

Celebrities from around the world, please calm down. We want to follow your adventures but one sex tape every two days is becoming banal. It looks like you want to compete with the porn industry. This one is about Severina Vuckovic, a top Croatian pop star. I know what you're going to say. You probably don't give a fuck about those Croatian pop stars. But think again. Someone stole a private sex video from her and put it on the internet. Now she's asking us to destroy it. Did I mention she's a sexbomb? You can find it easily on emule, just search for "severina xxx". Leave a comment if you need some help using this program.

Ok. These pictures of Britney will appear everywhere this week so here's a link where you can stare at those huge nipples without having to google for boobles. When someone asks you if you've seen those pics of Britney's boobs, you'll say: Of course asshole, I've seen them on Captain Cum before." Right?

Two months ago we discovered the metadoll, a bootyful cyberdoll. You played with her boobs and she helped you to relieve your stress. EGirl is a new venture into cybersex which take a step further. It's the first 3D interactive escort girl. She talks, moves and acts like your own personal sex toy. There is a demo available on their site which you can download for free. I was impressed by the level of detail, even when you do a real-time close up on her face (see screenshot below), her boobs and her bootylicious booty. The developers promise even more girls for the next version so stay tuned!

You've been looking for it everywhere and The Captain found it. The full 40 minutes Paris Hilton sex video is now available for download. The home video was shot three years ago, while Paris was dating Rick Solomon, Shannon Doherty's ex-husband. It's a big movie so it's available in five parts:
Part1 - Part2 - Part3 - Part4 - Part5
I don't know if it's going to stay online for long so download it now!

Jessica Cutler, a bootyful young woman who was better known as "washingtonienne" was fired from her job last week as a staff assistant to Republican Senator Mike DeWine. Her blog depicted her sex life at the Hill. According to the Washington Post, DeWine said in a statement that Cutler had been fired for using Senate "resources and work time to post unsuitable and offensive material to an internet weblog. Jessica never named the men she shagged. This sex scandal brought her enough celebrity for Playboy to make her an offer for a photoshoot. Who said blogging wasn't lucrative?

The booty saga of Mike continues as he manages to find and to fuck the hottest asses of Brazil. His new discovery is a young and beautiful brunette with a perfect butt. Meet Maraya.

The Axis of Eve is a coalition of brazen women on a mission to expose and depose George W. Bush and his deceitful administration. Convinced that effective political action can be irreverent and exciting, they have launched a titillating campaign of truth-flashing coordinated around a provocative line of protest panties.

My lucky friend Mike is currently in Brazil and he's on a mission to fuck the most beautiful brazilian asses he can find. And from what I can see, he's doing fine. Check out some beautiful butt in these wonderful clips depicting his booty vacation in the country of samba!

Dolores Pictures made a movie called Whore ("Yo Puta" in spanish). Well, I'm used to see whores everywhere around me (no need to mention the Captain is a pimp), but the interesting part is that Daryl Hannah and Denise Richards have the lead roles in this movie. I guess you can now stop downloading that sex scene from Wild Things ;-)

After exposing some ass in her 'dirrty' videoclip, Xtina Aguilera shows that to become a famous pop singer she had to get her pussy fucked by her record company boss. Poor Christina, I feel for you bitch!

Go ahead you naughty little girls, do what Daddy tells you and everything will be o.k. Suck cock and eat cum just like Daddy showed you. That’s right pull down your panties, finger your tight little pink pussies and gaping assholes, and make Daddy proud. Oh, and Taylor hunny make sure you smile as you take both of those big cocks up your ass and pussy. But just remember, no matter how many dicks you suck, you will always be Daddy’s girl. Now tell me, who's your daddy? Captain Cum indeed.

Guess who's back? Vida's Official Website is coming soon. For those who can't wait to see more of the most beautiful ass in the world, here are some high quality Vida Guerra pics.