Monday, January 31, 2005

Angelina The Homewrecker

i'm tryna, wreck homes like angelina jolie/
i'm tryna, wreck homes like angelina jolie/
i'm tryna, wreck homes like angelina jolie/
home wrecker, home wrecker, angelina jolie/

Here's another little song that got The Captain hooked (

Friday, January 28, 2005

Brad And Jen Sing "My Boo"

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are together again for the first time in a hilarious song that explains it all.

Special guests include Angelina Jolie in a sexy latex outfit waiting for Brad to spank her butt, and even Angelina's mohawk baby.

Watch "My Boo" (

Mischa Barton's Lesbian Kiss

The O.C.'s Marissa (Mischa Barton) just got a girlfriend this month.

Since relationships on The O.C. come and go faster than dotcoms, The Captain thinks this one isn't likely to last more than a few episodes.

Mischa has played a lesbian before, in a small but memorable role as the love interest of teenager Jessie (Evan Rachel Wood) on ABC's drama "Once and Again".

Watch Mischa Barton's Lesbian Kiss on "Once And Again" (

And let's hope it will happen once again on The O.C.

Ashlee Simpson Sucks

You already knew it. But wait, there's more.

Not only is untalented dumbass Ashlee Simpson lip syncing and manufactured, but so are some of her fans.

There's a new form of forum viral marketing. A "fan" posted some comments in forums about Court TV, The Smoking Gun, or shows on Fox. That fan is nothing but a spammer, only this time employed by giant media corporations.

Shame on you marketers! And shame on me for putting that ugly face on my site.

Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame Ashlee, you'll soon get lost in the archives of mediocrity.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Return Of The Wardrobe Malfunction

A Bud Light spot poking fun at last year's wardrobe malfunction, set to air during the Super Bowl, will not be seen after FOX and Budweiser execs met to discuss the potential backlash.

The spot has been released on the web anyway for all mighty pirates to see.

Have a beer, then watch the ad you won't see during the big game (

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Supermodel Tsunami Scandal

Supermodel Petra Nemcova, who was hurt in tsunami that struck Southeast Asia on December 26, denied reports that she was paid 2 million dollars by an American magazine to pose for shoots taken while she was recovering from injuries at Thai hospital.

She insists that she refused to be given any payment asking the publication to donate all money raised from the shoots to UNISEF to help children that suffered from tsunami.

The Captain wants to believe her. The following pics from February's Arena are what a Supermodel is supposed to be paid for.

Petra Nemcova 1 - Petra Nemcova 2 - Petra Nemcova 3 - Petra Nemcova 4 - Petra Nemcova 5 - Petra Nemcova 6 - Petra Nemcova 7 - Petra Nemcova 8 - Petra Nemcova 9

Monday, January 24, 2005

Jessica Simpson's Cameltoe

A cameltoe is a female phenomena also referred as the double V visible mainly when wearing tight, clingy or wet clothing.

A wonderful experience. Especially when the phenomena can be observed on Jessica Simpson.

Click here to see Jessica Simpson cameltoed

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Lindsay Lohan Swallows

Actually, she doesn't. But this reverse bukkake-like moment is still disturbingly erotic.

Lindsay Lohan 1 - Lindsay Lohan 2 - Lindsay Lohan 3 - Lindsay Lohan 4 - Lindsay Lohan 5 - Lindsay Lohan 6 - Lindsay Lohan 7

The last picture really got me going.

Get it on DVD: Mean Girls (Widescreen Edition) (

Arena: Best Issue Ever

The caption on the cover of December's 2004 Arena magazine reads "The world's two most beautiful girls spread over 20 pages. Clothing not tolerated".

Just click the following links and find out if Ana Beatriz Barros and Alessandra Ambrosio meet your standards.

Ana Beatriz Barros 1 - Ana Beatriz Barros 2 - Ana Beatriz Barros 3 - Ana Beatriz Barros 4 - Ana Beatriz Barros 5

Alessandra Ambrosio 1 - Alessandra Ambrosio 2 - Alessandra Ambrosio 3 - Alessandra Ambrosio 4 - Alessandra Ambrosio 5 - Alessandra Ambrosio 6 - Alessandra Ambrosio 7 - Alessandra Ambrosio 8 - Alessandra Ambrosio 9

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Lindsay Lohan Is A Rolling Stone

Lindsay Lohan recently gave an interview to Rolling Stone magazine. Here's the best part:

Lindsay: I went to the movies a lot this year on Saturdays. Wait, I went to see a really good movie! Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. I went to see it at the Sherman Oaks, and I can't think of it.

Rolling Stone: You can remember the theater, at least. That's good.

Where's the brain? Check out the pics to find out.

Lindsay Lohan 1 - Lindsay Lohan 2 - Lindsay Lohan 3

Jenna Jameson Is Still Hot

Some people will be happy to find Jenna Jameson featured in next month's Maxim. But the mighty pirates who sail the pussea will be happier because The Captain already got the pics.

Although she had sex with thousands of men, Jenna is still hot as hell and she gets even better with the years.

Jenna Jameson 1 - Jenna Jameson 2 - Jenna Jameson 3 - Jenna Jameson 4 - Jenna Jameson 5

Stop aging, become a pornstar!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Scarlett Johansson Holds Her Tits

"A love song for Bobby Long" may not be the best movie ever, but when a movie has Scarlett Johansson holding her breasts, it's still interesting to watch.

Thanks to The Captain, you can now skip the boring parts. Here are some screencaps of the movie's climax.

Scarlett Johansson 1 - Scarlett Johansson 2 - Scarlett Johansson 3

And here's the video clip (

Monday, January 10, 2005

The World's Hottest Ass

The owner of this perfect booty used to post pictures on under the nickname "Keyra", but her real identity has finally been revealed.

According to SuperTanga's webmaster, her real name is Julieta and she's a 19 year old student from Argentina whose pictures were stolen from her computer by a Trojan virus.

Howard Stern declared that she had "the best ass EVER" on his radio show and she's now a celebrity booty. You'll understand why by clicking the link below.

Meet The World's Hottest Ass (

Petra Nemcova Survives Tsunami

Supermodel Petra Nemcova, who was injured after being caught up in the Asian tsunami disaster, arrived in Prague on Saturday for further treatment.

Nemcova and her boyfriend Simon Atlee had been vacationing in Phuket when the waves swept through their bungalow. She reportedly clung to a palm tree for eight hours with a broken pelvis as the water swirled around her.

Atlee, 33, a well-known British fashion photographer, was engulfed by the swirling water and remains missing.

The Captain has put up some pics for those of you who have the hospital fetish. You little perverts!

Petra Nemcova 1 - Petra Nemcova 2 - Petra Nemcova 3

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Anna Kournikova's Hidden Treasure

It looks like celebrity bathing suit malfunction is the new trend for 2005. After the Kirsten Dunst Nipple Slip, The Captain has now received pics of Anna Kournikova looking for a hidden treasure in her bikini bottoms.

So what did she find in her yellow bikini? Take a bigger peek by clicking the following links.

Anna Kournikova 1 - Anna Kournikova 2 - Anna Kournikova 3 - Anna Kournikova 4 - Anna Kournikova 5 - Anna Kournikova 6 - Anna Kournikova 7 - Anna Kournikova 8 - Anna Kournikova 9 - Anna Kournikova 10

Friday, January 07, 2005

So You Want To Tickle A Babe

Axe has launched a new ad to promote, well, I can't remember what it is. But this girl is so hot that The Captain tickled her for hours.

You may ask yourself what the hell I'm talking about. Just try the Axe Feather and you'll know what the Axe Effect really means.

I heard they also make deodorants but who cares? I don't want to smell good. I'm too busy playing tickle.

Try the Axe Feather (

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Alessandra Gets Her Fill In The Desert

The caption on the cover of January's Loft Magazine says that "The 2005 Wurth Calendar Girl Gets Her Fill in the Vegas Desert".

I'm still trying to find out what exactly was filled and where, and I tought I could share the pics with you so you can assist me in my research.

Alessandra Ambrosio 1 - Alessandra Ambrosio 2 - Alessandra Ambrosio 3 - Alessandra Ambrosio 4 - Alessandra Ambrosio 6 - Alessandra Ambrosio 6

Would you fill her?

Vincent Gallo Does Paris Hilton

Here's another episode of the neverending Paris Hilton Pop Whore Saga. This is a very old short film directed by indie creepster Vincent Gallo and starring night vision sex performer Paris Hilton.

The best thing about this film is that it's short and that Gallo's penis is nowhere to be seen. And you gotta love the cute bunny!

Paris Honey Bunny Video (

Lindsay Lohan Gets Smaller Boobs

Some weeks ago, Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for being exhausted, and it looked like the only remedy was to perform a breast reduction surgery on the actress turned pop singer. I guess that she was exhausted because her boobs were too heavy.

Do they look better now? Stay tuned because I'm sure we'll get the answer in pictures soon.

Lindsay Lohan's Good Plastic Surgery (

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Kirsten Dunst Nipple Slip

Every pirate knows that the best way to start the New Year is a good nipple slip. That's why The Captain is proud to bring you another wardrobe malfunction.

Kirsten Dunst couldn't escape her destiny: every celebrity will be part of the nipple show.

Kirsten Dunst 1 - Kirsten Dunst 2 - Kirsten Dunst 3 - Kirsten Dunst 4 - Kirsten Dunst 5 - Kirsten Dunst 6 - Kirsten Dunst 7

Happy New Year mighty pirates!

Jessica Alba's Perfect Ass

When she's not busy filming Fantastic Four, Jessica Alba spends her spare time at Miami Beach, rising from lounge chairs and getting on all fours to show off an ass so perfect it brings tears to a pirate's eyes.

I never tought I would say that someday, but I want to be a lolly!

Jessica Alba 1 - Jessica Alba 2 - Jessica Alba 3 - Jessica Alba 4

Guess Who's Back?

I know it's been a long time. The Captain is finally back with a new kick ass server which means even faster loading pussy and a new black site design which fits the pirate of the pussea spirit better.

I'm really sorry for having been away for so long but sometimes a pirate's got to do what he's got to do, which in my case meant solving real life trouble. I hope you mighty pirates had a great New Year party. Now let's get back to business. Nipple slips, Lindsay Lohan boob surgery and more hot topics have yet to be exposed.